how many people here like the sound of rock 'n' roll music?

Spent last evening with Music Director Chris going over all the band's music cues. There are sixteen total. Sixteen! Folks who've seen the show before will recognize many of them. Some are notably missing -- lying dead and lifeless on the cutting room floor. But there are some new additions as well. Many of the clips are longer than before. We've got a live band, why not use them, eh? But I don't think any of them go longer than 60 seconds ... except for the big finale number, which I am unbelievably excited about. I mean ... seriously ... I've lost hours just sitting and thinking about it and grinning like an idiot.

Anyway, I can say for sure that I'm glad I don't have Chris' job. Most of the clips we use in the show are portions of songs taken from the middle. Rarely do we begin at the beginning. When we were using all pre-recorded clips, we were able to do a nice fade in, but you can't really do that with a live band. So among Chris' many thankless tasks is finding starting and stopping points for those cues. The couple of occasions when Rick speaks over the music require all new arrangements and transitions.

I think we'll do alright with the four-piece band. There's a lot we can do in post to make up for the absence of keyboards and so forth. The only song that's really going to suffer is the Ramones' tune. I mean ... re-creating Phil Spector ... ugh. I think we're going to go for a more, uh, garage demo version of that song ...

Okay, enough rambling about things no one cares about .........

moving forward ...

Rick and I went down to a certain theater today to drop off some paperwork. If the stars align and all goes well, we may have a venue and date to announce soon! It's a fantastic space in a great location. And it feels good, you know? It's got a great vibe. I love the feel of a theater ... the smells and the sounds ... some of my happiest memories are of being backstage at theaters.

Anyway, one of the guys working there when we arrived is a listener and recognized Rick from listener parties, so that was cool. Unfortunately, I didn't catch his name. Another crewman was the guy who ran our lights at the Clinton Street 'lo those many years ago, so that was kinda serendipitous.

For folks who find wanky theater stuff interesting, we're going to put the band behind a scrim, which is a screen that looks opaque until you back-light it, then whatever's behind it appears as this sort of ethereal silhouette. This theater has a huge, black scrim that's absolutely perfect for the BtJ House Band.

So let's all keep our fingers crossed and hope it works out!

More on this as it develops!

shameless mooching update

Just a note to say that our mirror and mic stand needs have been met!! But watch this space for future opportunities to lend us your crap, as I've only just begun to mooch.

the BtJ love child (he speaks french and stacks matches)

quote of the day

"a blessed accident of failing upwards"

(Kevin Smith re: Clerks)

msg 4u :-p

You know what really fascinates me? The truncated speech people use in text messaging. The only occasion I have to use it is when I send a message to Rick’s phone. He's got something like a 100 character limit, which is just enough to send off a brief passage from Glengarry Glen Ross, then giggle at the fact that it's going to cost him 15 cents to read it.

But sometimes I actually have important things to say, and I find myself using whatever abbreviations and combinations of characters I can come up with to get as much meaning across as possible with fewest words, until the message looks like it was written on Annie Wilkes' typewriter.

It's so bizarre... it's like we're regressing. The faster and better our ability to communicate, the worse our language gets and the more willing we are to sacrifice the prettiness and flow of words.

Is it only a matter of time until we turn into Coco the talking ape, just grunting and text messaging "me want 2 c yr niples" to each other?

Or is just the opposite occurring? Are we actually developing some sort of new, advanced superlanguage? With a Japanese-inspired speed and efficiency, stripped of all regional dialect and social colloquialisms, is the stunted language of the new millennium actually the beginning of a Gene Roddenberry-esque future in which adjectives and adverbs become obsolete, punctuation and capitalization don’t mean shit and all men speak equal?

I guess we’ll see.

till then ... l8r

updates 'n' stuff

I can't believe the responses to my shameless mooching! You guys rock! You have no idea how good it feels to have so many people express interest in being a part of the film. At the risk of sounding sappy and/or over-caffeinated ... there's this whole community of people, like this crazy family, brought together by this weirdo on the radio, and just knowing that this community is out there ready to help me and support me and work with me and stuff, well ... it really makes the hard parts seem easier and, more than that, worthwhile.

Okay, enough of that shit.

Script update: It's finished! Though it's hard to say for sure until we're able to do a beginning-to-end table read, I'm going to guess that we're currently at a running time of about 100 minutes, which is pretty darn good. I've sent the script around to a handful of writer friends for feedback, and so far the response has been positive. Though I have yet to hear back from Aaron -- the one critic I most respect/fear.

Speaking of Aaron, if you haven't been to his website lately, you must go there immediately and read the Best Story Ever.

That's it for now. Except this -- a certain online news resource that shall remain nameless is aggressively seeking unpaid bloggers for their website. Isn't that wonderful? Maybe they'll let me write one all about my experiences being unemployed! I can author articles such as "How to lose your dream job without really trying" and "What to do when the man comes to shut off your power" and "Mommy, how come all the other kids have their asthma medicine?" It'd be great!

Mmm ... bitterness ...

how come no one told me??

Do you know how long I've been waiting for this to come out on DVD??? And it's been out for almost a month and NO ONE TOLD ME!! It's the movie that made me want to make movies! In the context of BtJ, this movie was my Zeppelin. Sigh.

A correction ...

Jesse Cunningham, who will be providing the vocal stylings of both Alice Cooper and Joey Ramone in the show, is in a band called Last Stand. I couldn't remember the name of the group before. My humble apologies.

The latest news

We've narrowed down potential performance spaces to a couple of prime choices. Now I'm just waiting to confirm availability and cost and so forth, and also making sure the venues get Lighting Director Sigfried's stamp of approval.

The script is almost finished! Just waiting for Rick to make a few minor polishes.

I've been scheming the set design and making little models out of paper, though I can't really make any concrete decisions until I know the dimensions of the stage. Rick and I both like the idea of boxy, minimalistic set pieces. We both also like symmetry on the stage, even though every book I have recommends against it. 'Go for balance,' they say, 'but avoid symmetry because it bores the audience.' I tend to believe, however, that if the audience is bored because of your set design, you've got far bigger problems.

Which brings up another issue --- I have still received NO response to my call for Dudes Who Can Build Stuff. (I should point out that, in this context, "dude" means "one who wields tools" and could just as easily apply to women.) Come on, people! You've got hammers ... use them! Email me and be part of something super rad and only mildly chaotic!

The band loads into the rehearsal space the first week of April, putting rehearsals right on schedule.

To the boys who sent me photos in response to the casting call -- you'll be hearing from me at some point next month, so sit tight. I haven't forgotten about you.

Ditto to you, Mailman Chris & Son ...

Script notes

The formatting process continues, and I'm please to announce that WE GET THE KID "ON THE ROAD" BY PAGE SIX! That's within the first ten minutes of the show! IN YOUR FACE, CAMERON CROWE! Ooh, Syd Field would be so proud!

P.S. Is anyone watching the new season of "Project Greenlight?" Boy is that gonna be the greatest train wreck of all time!

Reads, posts, and leaves.

Forgive me if I don't look to the mainstream, American news media for guidance on how to do things accurately or correctly.

The Associated Press -and other such pointy-headed journalists- are free to omit the serial comma. They are also free to make up whatever pseudo-justifications they would like for doing so. None of these things will change the fact that they are wrong, have always been wrong on this point, and will continue to be wrong.

Furthermore, the director of a certain one-man show may be interested in what a definitive source on this matter has to say. Especially this part.

I'm out. Brooklyn!

A special message for Rick

Here's a link for you, dollface.

The all-seeing, all-knowing Wikipedia Brain states that usage of the "serial comma" is OPTIONAL and a matter of PREFERENCE.

So nyah nyah nyah!

Let the mooching begin!

Okay, now's the part where we enter rehearsal phase and I begin shamelessly begging for donated crap from y'all!

< aside > I saw the space today and goddamn is it perfect. Let's all bow down to Michael Criss (offical "T.B. Player" and Tommy Heath) for scoring us an outstanding, if not slightly haunted, space. Run into the light, Tupac! Run into the light! < / aside >

WANTED: BIG ASS MIRROR
The bigger, the better! If you have such a thing lying around your basement or attic and want to loan it to us for a couple of months for rehearsal purposes, email me and we'll come pick it up. We'll try very hard not to break it.

ALSO WANTED: MIC STAND AND MIC
Good, strong mic stand -- not one of those flimsy ones that fold up into your pocket. A non-working mic is fine (and even preferred) as it will only be used as a prop.

As always, anyone who contributes in any way, be it labor or props or set dressing or anything, will get a seat at the show and the opportunity to be in a major motion picture! WOO!

Watch this space for future opportunities to volunteer your time or crap!!

Please welcome Lil' Ozzy

The official mascot of the BTJ Production Blog.

The Official Bigger Than Jesus House Band Lineup

Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for:

Andrew Greene - Drums
Brain Dultgen - Guitar
The Mysterious Jay - Guitar
Michael Criss - Bass

And of course, Music Director Christopher Morris at the helm.

\m/

gaining momentum

Yesterday was a good day for BtJ --

First, Music Director Chris, after already winning my undying affection by scoring a bass player, found us a REHEARSAL SPACE!!! So, all you nay-sayers, rehearsals will commence ON SCHEDULE!

Secondly, late last night ... the clouds parted, beams of light shot down from the heavens into my stuffy little writing room ... as Rick and I turned to each other and realized ... THE WRITING WAS DONE!! I still need to splooge the writing into the proper format before we've got a SCRIPT (and shave as much length as possible), but the WRITING IS DONE!!!

Thirdly, I had exciting conversations with exciting people that I can't publicly disclose yet.

Things are happening!!

However! I'm disappointed to report that I have received not a single email from Dudes Who Can Build Stuff. What the hell?? ARE YOU NOT MEN? Eh? Nancy boys? Don't know how to use tools, is that it? Wussies.

Sunday Evening Coming Down.

And now, in no particular order, the biggest problems currently facing Bigger than Jesus:

1) We have no production or rehearsal space.

2) The goddamned script isn't done.

3) The game of phone tag between us and a powerful, elusive media executive is now entering its second week. So much for my "clout."

4) I'm fat and squashy, which will look even less attractive on a large screen.

5) Every time I try and write the remaining scenes, I just end up monologuing Glengarry Glen Ross out loud to myself, and then giggling hysterically, followed by a long period of sulking.

6) We have no set.

7) Our budget, and the means by which we will meet it, are in a constant state of ulcer-inducing flux.

8) Everything we aim to do has already been done by Cameron Crowe. And better. So we'll have to kill him.

9) Upwards of thirty minutes must be cut from the script, and we're not even finished writing the fucking thing.

10) It's scheduled to be performed when?!?!

small victories ...

Musical Director Chris Morris returned from his jaunt through Europe and secured a bass player. The Bigger Than Jesus House Band is finally complete. Four men united by a common goal ... rocking us until our brains fall out. Or our feet fall off.

(that was for you Aaron)

Performance space ... the final frontier ...

Finding a venue for this show has proven difficult.

I really don't want to go back to the Imago for reasons I'm too ladylike to say here ... *coughassholescough* ... I mean, I liked the Imago a lot, but I want an elevated stage this time -- like we had at the Clinton Street. I'd rather have the audience looking up than down, and I think it would film better that way as well.

There are plenty of little theaters around town, but they're either too small or run by avant garde drama fags who look at me with disgust when I dare to suggest that I soil their precious arty-farty space with my big dumb rock show.

A concert hall-type venue would work, except that most of them -- such as the Crystal or Bossanova -- echo like big gymnasiums which would make for some shitty recorded sound.

I would love, love, LOVE to do it in a dark, skeezy club, but I don't know how we'd construct our set and rehearse in a space that's used nightly for shows.

I know that somewhere out there is the perfect space for us ... but I'm starting to stress. I'm calling high school auditoriums in Washougal, for pete's sake.

As always, if anyone has any brilliant suggestions, send them along to me.

Wanted: Dudes who can build stuff

I'm talking about set pieces! Big, fancy set pieces! (well, big maybe, but not really fancy - I'll settle for 'won't fall apart and kill Rick or audience') And I need guys who own tools and wish to volunteer to build things and put things together! Are you such a mawn? If so, please email me your contact info and a description of your tools and skills and I'll be in touch with you sometime within the month ...



Increase Flash Gordon noise and put more science stuff around!

A Birthday Haiku

"ode to my partner"

even our worst days
are better than the best days
writing by myself


(happy birthday)

(wtpa)

Be there or be talked about!!

The Ken DeRouchie Band is playing Saturday night at the Ash Street Saloon!!!!!

< / shameless plug >

Sweet!

www.biggerthanjesus.net has been purchased!
There's nothing there yet, of course, and won't be for a while, but it's finally ours!
Woo hoo!

Geez ...

I woke up this morning and saw what I wrote at 2:30 am last night ... there's the slightest chance I might still be holding onto a little bit of bitterness for my recent employment situation. Sorry about that.

So how about some good news!!

Here are some officially cast vocalists for the Bigger Than Jesus House Band:

John Hughes: Robert Plant & Axl Rose
You might remember John as the guy with the little guitar who freestyled "Black Dog" during his on-air audition. He performs in a band called Puffer and has agreed to follow me around everywhere I go with his little guitar, announcing my presence like my own private minstrel.

Jairus Minsky: Ozzy Osbourne
I got more positive feedback about Jairus than any other vocalist who auditioned on the air. He's the smooth-voiced, "in a world ..." guy. And also he's dreamy.

Jesse Cunningham: Alice Cooper and Joey Ramone
Due to his job, Jesse was unable to come audition on the air. So we called him in to sing for us and he belted it out and blew our minds. He sings in a band called ... uh ... crap, I can't remember. I'm a terrible person. Jesse, email me and refresh my memory!

Dean Hockman: David Lee Roth
Good old Dean. In addition to being such a good sport about Rick's on-air ribbing, he is also a lovable drunk with one seriously snazzy shirt collection.

Eric Helzer: Paul Stanley & Brian Lefheldt: Gene Simmons
A professional Paul Stanley impersonator and the former drummer of Sweaty Nipples. Now working with the fantabulous Tripolar. Eric and Brian will be responsible for the big finale number. I tremble with excitement ...

Michael Criss: Tommy Heath
I wish I knew more about Michael that I could share, but I don't. He's adorable, that's all I know. And in addition to Tommy Heath, he could also sing a Neil Young part spot-on, if only we had one.

[Untitled]

Well, my last post was so gloomy that I wanted to say something new today ...

Problem is, I've nothing to say. So I'll give a thrilling recap of the last few days.

Saturday I spent 10 hours in my little writing room with Rick, grinding my teeth and my gears. The task at hand: put into words how rock and roll makes one feel the first time one hears it -- and spoken in the voice of an imaginary Robert Plant as seen through the eyes of a thirteen year old boy. Feh. I was so wrung out and surly when Rick left that I put in my 'Almost Famous' DVD to cheer myself up. But it didn't so much cheer me up as make me want to hang myself.

Sunday was better (and also Aaron the Geek's birthday). I had a series of tremendously helpful little breakthroughs. I haven't quite figured out how to put the puzzle together yet, but at least the pieces are far more clearly defined. I wrote a scene and fiddled with the timeline. I haven't shared these little breakthroughs with Rick yet ... good lord, the fur is gonna fly ...

Monday I read a lot. William Goldman, Stephen King, The Screenwriter's Bible and the Writer's Digest Guide to Good Writing, which contains pages and pages of litttle inspirational quotes for writers like "As a fiction writer, the last thing you want to be is a liar" (Clive Barker) and "You should spend thirty minutes a day looking at dirty pictures" (Tom Robbins). Little bits of wisdom for clipping and taping on the fridge. I also spent time job hunting ... to no avail. I then browsed around the website of my former employers and silently mocked them and the decline of their entertainment coverage which has become lackluster and bland since they sent me packing for no reason. Assholes. That led to a good half an hour spent supressing the bitterness and rage from being fired from a job I so dearly loved ... swallowing it down into my gut where it is no doubt forming itself into a giant, black, hate-filled tumor that will grow to be twice my body weight and the size of a VW Beetle with hair and teeth and within the year I'll become a wacky story on Fark which will later be read by Tim Riley during the nine o'clock news hour. And I shall name my giant tumor Li'l Kevin O'Live.

Today I started to panic about some imaginary script problem which Aaron quickly handled during a phone call on his lunch break from jury duty. Crisis averted. God bless Aaron.

I had to tell some really great guys today that I wasn't going to use them as primary vocalists in the show. That sucked and I hated doing it. I was reading a story about Clint Eastwood in which he said that he despises casting because he falls in love with everyone and wants to use them all. I definately share that compulsion.

Now I'm listening to the Amelie soundtrack and wishing I was a French filmmaker. Then I could just throw some accordion music and sex into BtJ and all my problems would be solved.

I realize this post is no more cheerful than the last. Sorry.