ready, set, mooch!

Here's some stuff we need for our set pieces ... if you have any of these items lying around your garage or basement, please email Set Designer Rob Peacock and let him know.

2x4's at least 7 feet long

Cheesy wood paneling
Entire sheets are great, but scraps work too in dimensions at least 36" x 48" (48" in the same direction as the lines - up & down). Recovered paneling in good shape from a remodel would be perfect.

More mooching coming soon!

rocking the IHOR ...

I wrote a lovely post about the band and rehearsals and it was accidentally erased.

I'm too pissed off now to rewrite it. Grr.

So here's some pictures of the IHOR Rehearsal Loft:

a peek behind the curtain ...

Anyone who’s ever been in a creative partnership or collaboration knows that it can be very much like a weird, sexless marriage. Guys in bands have it the worst because it’s like they’re married to three or four or five (or eight, if you’re my old man) other people.

You deal with the same intensity and emotion as in any passionate relationship. Sometimes even more so because you’re making art and cultivating creative visions together. Heated stuff. It can be the greatest euphoria of your life.

It can also be equally nightmarish.

Especially when both parties are stubborn, mouthy brats.

Tuesday’s rehearsal started out strong. But then it all went horribly awry. I couldn’t tell you who’s fault it was (probably mine) but suffice it to say, it ended badly. Words are the weapon of choice and his arsenal will forever be better stocked than mine, but that never stops me from trying. So I go all Sybil and he starts punching with his words and all productivity ceases.

It wasn’t the first time, and I’m sure it won’t be the last.

But we always know that, no matter what is said, we’ll still be there for each other tomorrow, trying to do better.

Last night we met again at the IHOR and had a great time. Drummer Andrew and Music Director Chris were there, and we got to run some new, never-before-seen material by them to gauge their reactions. They laughed in all the right places! And having a couple of other people in the room besides me breathed new life into Rick’s inner rockstar and I was reminded yet again of that remarkable change that occurs when he’s got an audience in front of him.**

We also spent a lot of time just goofing around and laughing. I fear that Andrew and Chris saw only giggly, non-productive, Glengarry-quoting lunatics. But they weren’t there on Tuesday. They didn’t know that we needed to be that way for a while, because a black period must be immediately followed by a giddy period. That’s how it works. It’s what we do.

And it’s what we’ll continue to do as long as we can.

WTPA.

**When Bette Midler recorded her first album, the results were less than spectacular and the record execs were unhappy. Barry Manilow, who’d suffered manic highs and lows with this crazy woman, stepped up and said, “I know her. I know what she needs.” He brought a small group of people into the studio – an audience to put in front of Bette, and recorded it all again. And the resulting album was a smash. He knew that she would shine the brightest when she had a crowd, even just a small one. I relate to this anecdote.

Wanted: Artist

This is the sort of thing I hate delegating because it's fun and I wanna do it but I have to be realistic about the fact that there's only so many hours in a day and it's better to hand these tasks off to someone else who can take the time to do it right than do it hurriedly and half-assed myself.

So, I look to you good people...

I need a painter to create some props and set pieces for the show. I don't want to go into too many specifics here, as it would kinda spoil the fun for the live audience. But I'm seeking someone who is gifted with a paintbrush and has the ability to render reasonably realistic-looking large-ish set pieces on down to small props.

Sound like you? Drop me an email!

the coffee cup crusade

In response to overwhelming demand from fellow spurned fans wanting to know what to do with their impotent rage, Aaron the Geek and I have come up with a unified method for everyone to express their dissatisfaction with Entercom's decision to take away the only live, local morning talk in Portland.

We wanted to come up with something positive, legal, and simple for everyone to do.

So we created The Coffee Cup Crusade.

Here's what you do:

1. Take a spare coffee mug that you've got lying around the house
2. Put it in a bag or box with a note that reads "I need my morning fix. Bring back Rick Emerson"
3. Address it to General Manager Jack Hutchison
4. Drop it off at Entercom: 0700 SW Bancroft, Portland OR 97239
5. Resist the urge to include any sort of death threat or feces

If you are extra-pissed and extra-motivated, you could go to a thrift store and snatch up lots of coffee cups for cheap and deliver them en masse.

The goal is to demonstrate a unified 'show of hands' without doing anything gross, insane, or threatening -- while at the same time presenting something annoying and cumbersome for The Man to deal with.

So, there you go. Spread the word!

the show must go on ...

It's funny how everything can change in a split second. A lot of folks have been asking me how the death of MAX 910 will effect "Bigger Than Jesus."

The answer -- I'll be goddamned if I'm going to let some bad-suit-wearing corporate chucklefuck stop MY party. The show WILL go on as scheduled.

But it's more important than ever that you check this website often for updates, information, and opportunities to participate as we get closer to the show.

We've decided to start selling advance reservations now, as we anticipate a large turnout due to the fact that we'll all be jonesing hard for Rick come June ... go to www.rickemerson.com for information on how to reserve your seats for the bargain price of $10 each.

And, as always, email me with any comments or questions.

Update

To answer a couple of frequently asked questions:

1. We had planned on making it an invitation-only show but we scored a much bigger theater than we'd anticipated, so we're able to open it up to the public.

2. Anyone who's been promised a seat -- such as all the folks who auditioned on the air and so forth -- need not worry. You'll still have seats for you and a "plus one" as promised.

updates

SHAMELESS MOOCHING 2.0
Does anyone have a chalkboard? Like the freestanding kind, like this'n here
If so, and you want to let us borrow it -- and why wouldn't you? -- please drop me an email.

WANTED: CAMERAS AND CAMERAMEN (or women)
We'll be shooting with at least four cameras and possibly five. Nate the Director of Photography and Sigfried the Magnificent Lighting Bastard are both fond of the Panasonic AG-DVX100, so we're trying to track down four or five of those, as well as folks to operate them during the show. Please note -- All work will be done for copy and credit only! And also our love. Please email me if you have access to a DVX100 or similar brand/model camera and/or the ability to man such a machine.

REHEARSAL UPDATE
The band is kicking ass! My favorite audio cue so far is Black Sabbath's N.I.B.. Although ... Welcome to the Jungle is pretty great, too, especially Drummer Andrew's cries of "Do you know how hard it is to make myself stop??" when the cue abruptly ends right after the intro. Speaking of Drummer Andrew ... he's got the biggest drum kit on earth. And although he'll only have eight mics at the show and therefore can only use so many pieces of his kit, I wanted ALL the pieces set up because the visual image of an absurdly huge and monolithic drum kit is just so badass. Every week he brings more and more bits of drum to set up.

The cruel joke is that now that the PA is wired, the drums are all set up, the glow-in-the-dark Iron Maiden posters have all been hung, and the exact dimensions of the stage have been taped out on the floor, we've been asked to move to the warehouse side of the building we're practicing in. So that will be tonight's activity. Woo! It's still a great space though, and better than we deserve. And it's got a ping pong table.

Rehearsals with Rick have been ... interesting so far. We started out strong last week, burned through the first few pages, got to the Robert Plant scene and came to a painful, grinding, screeching halt. Robert Plant has been a thorn in our collective ass for two years for reasons which are too wanky and boring to explain. I think we've got it worked out, though. I hope.

In writing and acting, there are no wrong answers. But with some scenes, nothing we try feels right. And I'm deeply frustrated by problems I can't out-direct. And that goddamn Robert Plant makes me feel like even more of a hack than I am. Stupid girly hobbit-loving wiccan hippie bastard!

a nice diversion

I was just reading David Duchovny's blog -- scanning post after post in which he all but begs fans to go see his movie this weekend -- "it's all about the opening weekend!" he says. And I realized that blogs are a fantastic tool for these mid-level celebrities for the following three reasons:

1. It's so easy to become cynical about celebrities. Someone who shall remain nameless has been openly mocking the idea of David Duchovny writing and directing a movie. I believe the exact phrase he used was "worst idea ever." But if you spend a little time on Duchovny's blog, you see that he's just a guy who had a story to tell -- a story he seems quite passionate about -- and he simply wants people to go see it. He's worked hard and made a thing and he wants the thing to grow and do well. Maybe the story is crap, but does that make anyone's desire to tell a story the "worst idea ever"? I hope not, otherwise I'll have to pack it in right now.

2. Blogs give the actors/writers/directors/whatevers a chance to say what they want to say, uncensored and within their chosen context. Not two-second sound bites on Access Hollywood, taken out of context and wedged in-between Britney Spears and Michael Jackson stories.

3. Celebrities live within these little safe little spheres, like force fields, and blogs give them a chance to interact directly with fans while still maintaining a comfortable buffer. They can chat with fans and make connections without having to worry about face-to-face encounters with the crazies.

So there you go. A nice, much-needed diversion from BtJ. Ah.

Now please enjoy this photo of Rick drinking Starbucks while talking on his cell phone. If you look closely, you can see a faint dot in the corner. That's the last remaining trace of his rapidly-receding dignity.



How about Pearl Harbor! I fucking love that movie!

did I mention it's to scale?

Met with the boys at My Father's Place this afternoon to discuss lights and cameras and set design and so forth. I brought my Scale Model of the Stage of which I am extremely proud. Did I mention that it's perfectly to scale? Well ... give or take a couple of inches.



The boys were knocked out by my craftsmanship and loving attention to detail. I could tell by the way Stage Manager Aaron promptly questioned its dimensions and Lighting Designer Sigfried immediately made all the little plastic guys hump each other.



P.S. We're filmmaking professionals.

random thought for a saturday night ...

Rick pointed out to me the other day that I am, in fact, directing a musical.

While it's been a lifelong dream of mine to direct a feature-length musical, I never imagined it would involve Metallica and Van Halen songs.

But I wouldn't change it for the world.

Official Announcement!

I am pleased to announce that we have secured a location for the show!

We had to go through a bit of red tape, but today I received word that the Dean of The School of Fine & Perfoming Arts at Portland State has approved our use of the beautiful LINCOLN PERFORMANCE HALL at PSU!

Take a gander ...



This theater is HUGE and seats something like 475 people, so we'll be able to fit lots of bodies in there.

Our official performance date is SUNDAY, JUNE 26TH!

We still have to sign the contract but I anticipate NO obstacles to finalizing the deal (Attn: God, this is not a personal challenge).

So there you have it! It's officially official!

Mudcrutch...

...is pretty much the worst name ever for a band. It's also what Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers were called before they were, you know...Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.

With that in mind, here's a smattering of titles that were considered for the work we now know as Bigger Than Jesus. Some were serious contenders, and some were just retarded, but at least I figured out why so many magazine articles are titled after rock songs (a personal pet peeve of mine.) It's just so goddamn easy. The things practically name themselves.

In any event, with a nudge or two in the right direction, the piece could have been called:

-Heavy Metal Memories

-Teenage Dirtbag

-Nothin' but a Good Time

-Dear Music

-Great Expectations

-Teenage Wasteland

-Rock and Roll Salvation


Lucky we happened onto Bigger than Jesus, no? At this rate, how long before I came up with Are You There, Rick? It's Me, Music or some such gibberish?

The "Bigger than Jesus" International House of Rock is open for business.

We moved into the rehearsal space today, and I gladly would have stayed there all night. (Seriously, if there were a cable channel that broadcast nothing but long-haired metal dudes playing snippets of classic rock songs, I would quit my job and devote my life to watching it. VH1, I'm looking in your direction.)

Tomorrow, actual rehearsals commence, followed by weeks of slave-driving, soul-crushing torment by Joni DeRouchie, who will attempt to make every one of us cry before this is over. I'm actually kind of looking forward to it.

Pics of the load-in:





Of course, it's only a matter of time before the every exposed inch is festooned with all manner of 80s rock paraphernalia, starting with a black Cinderella tapestry. Mmmm....Night Songs.

Wanted: Sound Designer

After much thought, I've decided to enlist a sound designer to oversee the numerous audio goings-on for the show. This is a challenging position and does *NOT* pay, but it will be a lot of fun! ("lot of fun" meaning "thankless and nightmarish" ...)

There are four types of sound 'events' in the show:
1. Rick the Talent
2. Off-stage actors
3. Live band
4. Pre-recorded sound effects

The band WILL be patched into the house PA (which is news to them I'm sure, heh) and will also have to be split and run into the mobile recording gear (run by the mighty Uncle Steve) which is, I believe, a hearty laptop running Pro Tools.

There are countless singers and off-stage actors which will require mics and levels and all that good stuff.

Here is a description of duties for this lucky guy or gal:

* Manage/coordinate/wrangle all the gear and microphones (both provided by theater and supplied by others)
* Liaise with Music Director Chris on all aspects of sound related to the band
* Liaise with Uncle Steve the Mobile Audio Recording Wizard on all aspects of audio including band, pre-recorded sound, and on-stage and off-stage talent
* Liaise with the theater's house sound dude (he will be running the board)
* Liaise with Ken the Post-Production Sound God (who will have final approval on all mixes and levels)
* Mic the band, mic the talent, mic the singers
* Create excellent drum sub-mix (mucho importante!!)
* Lots of other stuff I haven't even thought of yet

Requirements:

* An excellent ear for an excellent mix
* Great attitude and enthusiasm!
* Intimate knowledge of classic rock and metal
* Technical know-how to set up all this stuff
* Availability to attend a handful of meetings and rehearsals in May/June, and of course total availability for tech day and show night in June (exact dates TBA)
* And, as always, utter devotion to me and the show (and Music Director Chris)

If this sounds like you, then please email me and let me know of your experience and availability, and we'll have a chat.

Thanks, y'all!! \m/