okay how about something fun!

Enough of this gloomy talk!

How about a peek into The Nerdy Girl Glossary:

IHOR (noun)
1. International House of Rock
2. Not so much a geographical location as a state of mind, baby

Hockman (noun)
1. Promising to be somewhere but then not showing up. As in "Dude pulled a Hockman, man!"
[origin: named for famed, 21st century no-shower Dean Hockman]

Chin [Chinned, Chinning] (verb)
1. The act of granting permission to use a location for filming and/or rehearsing, then, upon arrival of cast and crew, abruptly changing your mind and leaving cast and crew stranded on sidewalk with nowhere to go. As in "Dude chinned us, man!"
[origin: named for the historic screwing of the "Remote Control" production of 2004 by Mr. Chin of Leo's Smokefree Coffee Shop. Have fun make movie my ass...]

Piss! Pants! Fuck! (noun)
1. Gibberish phrase used in times of anger and distress
[origin: uttered by noted sociopath Sigfried Seeliger shortly before the heads were discovered in his freezer, ziploced and neatly labeled]

Ubergeek (noun)
1. See photo

goodnight sweet IHOR ...

Well, we had our last rehearsal at the IHOR. We went through the entire first act which is ... (and I suppose this should be a surprise to no one) ... almost an hour long.

So it's gonna be a two-hour show. Live with it.

Anyway, afterwards, we packed everything up and loaded out. Most of the set pieces and things went into storage in various basements and garages where it will remain until Bigger Than Jesus finds a new home.

I have one final act of business at the IHOR tonight, where I'm meeting Mike, Gustav, and Storm to workshop all the off-stage dialogue. A little bright spot in an otherwise bummer day.

But I'm confident we'll pull through this crisis and be together again and rocking very soon!

NEVER LET DOWN!

KISS and tell ...

So I finally got my hands on the photo of me and my friend Krishta and Tommy Thayer and some guy in a wheelchair taken backstage at the KISS/Poison concert last year.



Not exactly the decadent backstage environment one would expect at an arena rawk show, but eh, what can you do. And I don't really know what was going on with my hair that night. But anyway, there it is.

CREW CALL! SEEKING ...

Stagehands
Ticket Booth Ops
Ushers

Stagehands
Must be available ALL WEEKEND June 25th & 26th, responsible for a wide variety of miscellaneous duties typical to a theater production. If you have experience with setting up live sound for a band or seminar or bar mitzvah or whatever, please indicate that experience in your email. It's not required for all stagehands, but would come in damn handy.

Ticket Booth Ops
Must be available June 26th. Job duties include checking the names of folks in line against a big, long-ass list and distributing tickets accordingly. It's gonna be hot and it's gonna be a big crowd, so speed, efficiency, and a high bullshit threshold will go a long way towards making the will-call experience more pleasant for everyone.

Ushers
Must be available June 26th. Job duties include managing the will-call lines outside, answering ticket-related questions, checking tickets upon entry of the theater, and filling out spaces in the seating, as it will be a sold out show.

Ticket Booth Ops and Ushers may be required to participate in a little bit of costuming. And I'd prefer them to be girls. Boys are icky.

I have no gender preference for stagehands, however.

Email me if you are interested in any of these positions.

P.S. You won't get paid. You will get a ticket to the show, though, and also my love.

by the way...

in case you're curious, it's Dee Snider, not Snyder.

stuff...

Still seeking leads for a new rehearsal space -- email me with your ideas!

Meanwhile... Myself, Rick, Stage Manager Aaron, Music Director Chris, and Director of Photography Nate visited the theater yesterday to scope out the amenities. As we strolled the halls of the Arts Department Building Reservoir Dogs-style, dodging youngsters reading sides and overacting around every corner, it became clear that even now, even amongst generation-Y drama nerds who stopped reciting Noel Coward to stare at us as we walked by, even now we're still the misfits ... Chris with his shiny, black, metal guy hair and t-shirt depicting a nude woman wrapped in barbed wire, Aaron with his swarthy aura of Latin love and Green Lantern tattoo, and Rick with his black leather jacket and "Gilmore Girls" hat and his, well, everything else. (But Nate and I blend right in! Yeah.)




(the stage was set for a production of "Blithe Spirit")


(but the force was strong in the dressing room)

our first big setback...

God, thinking that we've been having far too much fun with our art, decided to deal us our first crippling blow.

We've lost the IHOR. We've been asked to pack our crap and hit the bricks.

(somewhere Mr. Chin is smiling)

We have one week to find a new rehearsal space.

All hands have been alerted and the search is on for IHOR 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO.

Ideas? Email me.

Never give up, never surrender.

(I was going to post about our trip to the theater today, but no........)

friday, Friday, FRIDAY!

There's a happening at Sabalas Mount Tabor!

Tri-Polar (featuring Craig Montoya and BTJ's own Gene Simmons, Brian Lehfeldt) is releasing their new CD at a benefit concert!

And ... topping off the night ... a HEAVY METAL KARAOKE CONTEST which Rick and I will be judging (along with other local luminaries).

We'll be shmoozing and selling BTJ t-shirts all night long, so be there or be a big, fat loser! And it's for charity and stuff, so you're a dick if you don't come. Think of the children!

Update: What exactly is this a benefit for, you ask? Well, all proceeds benefit the Oregon Music Hall of Fame, a damn fine organization dedicated to preserving the musical heritage of Oregon and furthering music education.

the latest from the IHOR ...

News from the world of BtJ:

Things are moving along. On the casting front, I'm pleased to announced that Storm Large has come on board as both our emcee for the evening, and also as an off-stage actor. God bless you, Storm.

Rehearsals are chugging along. We've been working with the singers for a couple of weeks and they just keep getting better and better. The nights when it's just me and Rick are less exciting, but only because we've already rehearsed the crap out of the big, fun scenes and now we're down to the teeth-grindingly dull details like what does Rick do with his hand when he says this line, and where's his eyeline when he says that line...



Rob the Set Building Wizard delivers new pieces just about every weekend, and the sight of his truck pulling into the parking lot always fills me with shivers of anticipation. Soon, I'll begin painting the pieces. Rawk. (We're already light years beyond the puny little set pieces from the Imago.)

Tickets are still available, though we're close to selling out, so I would recommend to all you slackers out there to get on the ball and order them while you can cause there ain't no second chances!

But remember -- they will NOT be mailed! They will be at will-call the night of the show.

That's it for now!

toot toot...

Hey look at that! I was profiled for the Right Brain Resource newsletter by our good friend Todd the Corpse!

news 'n' stuff...

casting update

So yeah, it's a one-man show, but there are a few scenes of dialogue with off-stage voices. Folks who've seen the show before will remember Brandon and Aaron -- callers to Rick's radio shows (both played by Aaron Geek in the City).

This time around, we've added a few new scenes and a few new characters, and I'm pleased to announce that Mike Vaughn, a fabulous voice professional; and Gustav, music nerd from 94.7 FM, have both been officially cast as off-stage actors.

There's one more casting I'd like to announce, but I'm waiting to confirm availability first.

off-topic

Anyone who's been tapping into the Live 365 broadcast of Rick's best-of shows will be happy (or horrified) to learn that the rotation now includes blocks of music from my personal collection!

Rick will be adding blocks of music soon as well. So if you want to hear Dio or whatever, listen for his. If you like wanky brit-pop and dreamy, shoe-gazing boys, listen for mine.

A million thanks to Sean the Chicken Juggler for setting that up. He rules! \m/

Hi...you've reached the Bigger than Jesus production blog. We can't come to the keyboard right now, because everyone involved with the show is currently in line for Revenge of the Sith...but if you leave your name and a comment at the tone, we'll be sure to post something pithy and amusing just as soon as we get back. Thanks!

*ding*

stuff that pisses me off

Take a look at the cover of Rufus Wainwright's latest album.

What do you see there in the bottom left-hand corner, spoiling the lovely artwork?

See how they had to move the "A" and the "I" around just to make room for the stupid thing?

Must contain lots and lots of bad words, right?

Nope. None. Not one single curse word.

It does, however, contain a song called "Gay Messiah" in which Rufus sings: "No it will not be me, Rufus the baptist I be, No I won't be the one baptised in cum. What will happen instead, someone will demand my head, and then I will kneel down and give it to them looking down"

It's naughty, true... but take a look at this record...

The latest from Martha Wainwright, Rufus' sister.

A pristine, lovely, perfect album cover, not at all marred by a hideous Parental Advisory sticker.

Must be a pure and wholesome record filled with uplifting music to enlighten and strengthen the culture of life which our country holds so dear!

Oh... except for the opening track which is called "Bloody Motherfucking Asshole" -- a song she wrote about her father in which the chorus is simply her screaming those words over and over and over.

(But it's okay. She's not one of them queers.)

jairus...

Jairus Minsky and the FOX announcer guy ... can YOU tell the difference?

the dry erase board...

In the corner of the IHOR sits a gigantic dry erase board on which we jot down amusing phrases, inspirational quotes, director's notes, and random graffiti. I'm going to photograph the dry erase board periodically throughout rehearsals and share it with y'all for y'all's amusement.

photographic evidence

Last night was our first rehearsal with the singers. Lucky for all of us, I had a digital camera with me! As Rick and Aaron and I looked on, the BJT singers went over the cues with Music Director Chris** for the first time.

The band was well-rehearsed and ready. Jay with his fifty thousand guitars; Brian and Michael, the strong and silent ones; and Andrew, who was in full hair-flipping, stick-twirling, lip-pursing mode.

I wish I had the words to describe the feeling that comes from watching something that's only existed in your head take shape in front of your eyes. And it's never quite what you've pictured. It's always different and, if you've cast the roles properly, always better.

The vocal casting in this show is by far my most favorite element, because it's just dudes. Regular guys -- some who sing in bands, some who don't -- that we were lucky enough to rope into our demented little show.

I mean, who among us could have imagined a character like John Hughes coming along, with the range and schitzophrenic personality to perform everything from Robert Plant to James Hetfield?

And Jesse Cunningham seems like such a nice young man, yet when he opens his mouth, out comes a drunk and gravelly Alice Cooper.

If Jairus Minsky was repairing the drywall in your home, would you have any idea that he can do an Ozzy that's nearly indistinguishable from the real thing?

But the question on everyone's mind ... how did good old Dean Hockman do? Well, he exceeded everyone's expectations simply by showing up ... and I'm pleased to report, his David Lee Roth is right on the money.

It was the first time for everyone, and there's certainly rough spots, but I anticipate that with polish, the BTJ House Band will take the show to new heights and be a big hit with the audience.

** Them big eyes make Norwegian girls swoon, ya know.

Lost in Translation.

Folks who saw both the Clinton Street and Imago performances of Bigger than Jesus (or BtJ, as my carpal tunnel insists we call it) may have noticed that, at some point between the former and latter, we cut a long segment revolving around Poison's "Talk Dirty to Me." This happened for a lot of reasons---chief among them that it just didn't "play", as the Vaudeville folks used to say. It looked great on the page, and sounded great in rehearsals, but it lacked a certain *zing* when performed live.

Hence...voila! Gone.

On the other end of the spectrum, there are some moments in the upcoming BtJ that I had written off for good---things that were there (after a fashion) in the very first draft, yet were not present in the Clinton St. or Imago performances. One particular segment, centering on a midnight trip to the Spokane mall, is a near-clone of a first-draft segment that was cut early on---way back in 2003.

What the hell was my point with all this?

Ah, yes.

As an unavoidable part of the process, we lost our mentions of Poison, Megadeth, and, sadly, a passing reference to Dokken.

That led me to think about the other bands from what we're legally required to call "the hair-band era", bands who were sacrificed to the almighty Page Count, sometimes before the writing process even began.

A quick skimming of my mental 80s folder immediately coughed up a few albums and bands that meant quite a lot to me (and still do), but which, due to time constraints, didn't get proper shout-outs in this project:

• Twisted Sister---Stay Hungry
• Dangerous Toys---Dangerous Toys
• Megadeth---Rust in Peace
• Quiot Riot---Metal Health
• Rose Tattoo---Rose Tattoo (not technically from the 80s, as it was released in 1978, but was re-discovered when Guns 'n Roses covered "Nice Boys" in 1989. Rose Tattoo remains one of the greatest hard rock records of all time, tough, lean, and, as their follow-ups showed, impossible to top.)
• Faster Pussycat---Faster Pussycat and Wake Me When It's Over
• Cinderella---Long Cold Winter
• Great White---Twice Shy (I would also include 1994's Sail Away. Released in the shadow of grunge, and thus stillborn, it's atmospheric, punchy, and probably the best thing they ever recorded.)

Not to mention Kix.....

What's in your mental 80s folder?

mooch-o-rama

Perhaps the most important set piece in the show ... the rawkin' boombox!

Something big and eighties-looking like the one seen here ...

It doesn't need to work, it need only look badass.

Do you have such a relic you'd like to lend us? Please email me and I'll swap you a ticket to the very-close-to-selling-out show in exchange.

\m/

a question for the metal nerds ...

Can anyone tell me exactly when and how Metallica revealed their spiffy new haircuts to an unwitting public in the mid-nineties? Was it on TV? Were they greeted by a collective gasp of shock as they came out on stage sporting their new looks?

First one to answer gets ... well ... gets to be the first one to answer! Woo!

While we're waiting, let's enjoy this graphical analysis of James Hetfield's hair trends. (My favorite part: "Sadly, although things had improved greatly on the hair front, "St. Anger" (in our scientific opinion) sucked more ass than it is possible for anything to suck.")

it's late ...

I should be sleeping. But I can't. Late at night is when the panic comes. Late at night is when I start to think about all the things that can go horribly wrong.

Even after a rippingly good rehearsal like tonight. Rick and I worked out some special, er ... choreography for a few scenes. One can accuse Rick of many things, but one can never accuse him of doing it half-assed. I once saw an interview with Deborah Winger in which she said that you should always fall on your face, never on your ass. And if Rick ever falls, it's going to be face-first, slamming into a wall going 90. God help me, I hope I'm right there with him.

Tomorrow we're doing our first musical "cue to cue" (or Q2Q for you cutsie-pies) with the band, meaning that we're going to run through all the musical numbers with Rick and the band together for the first time. Most of the guys in the band have never even read the script, so it will be interesting to gauge their reactions to the material.

It's been a busy week -- I've got nearly all the off-stage actors cast. I procured a set painter. Rob Peacock the Saint of Set Building has nearly completed our first big set piece. I think Aaron the Geek's lady love will be doing some costuming for us, gluing sparkly bits of things onto other things. Sarah X. Dylan is coming on board as Stylist, helping me to find the perfect look for Rick. And several Little Dudes are coming to, uh, pass the time, so to speak.

Still to do -- A chronic ear/nasal infection has prevented my husband from doing *any* work on the pre-recorded audio, and I'm in no position to hassle him without looking like a heartless bitch on account of he's in constant pain (and/or a constant state of Counter Strike play). I still need to nail down a Sound Designer. I have to settle a conflict with my Director of Photography regarding the number of cameras and placement. And I'm shamefully behind on responding to emails from folks who want to know why their tickets haven't arrived yet (Answer -- they're not being mailed).

So there's still lots to do, and on Monday ... the singers join the band at the IHOR. And we'll see if that nutty old Dean Hockman can live up to his reputation. Does anyone want to take bets on whether or not Chris and I can make him cry? Eh?

Heh.

something cool ...

So I finally got something up on www.biggerthanjesus.net! Woo!