Jehovah's Witnesses came to my door...
They wanted to offer me God's comfort in this time of our nation's suffering.
God's comfort. For the suffering. Suffering due to an act of God.
I didn't know how to tell them that not even I have daddy issues that messed up.
God's comfort. For the suffering. Suffering due to an act of God.
I didn't know how to tell them that not even I have daddy issues that messed up.
14 Comments:
Next time, ask them "When rapture comes, can I have your bike?"
ak
3 POINTS
One-Jehovah's Witnesses don't ride bikes, those are Mormons.
Two-Hurricanes are not an act of god, if they were Las Vegas would have been a toxic swiming pool long ago.
Three-if anyone comes to your door to tell you about something good that may happen, and don't ask you for money in return, they may actually believe what they are telling you something real. I consider that a selfless act of good will. Be nice.
I was very nice.
However, there is, in my opinion, nothing more disrespectful and egomaniacal than trying to convert another person to your religion in the zealous conviction that your way is the only right way. It's small-minded and goddamn presumptuous to think you have all the answers, and insulting to those of us who find such spiritual quests to be far too big to define and far too personal to share with strangers.
And the dictionary defines "ACT OF GOD" as "An uncontrollable natural event, such as a hurricane, fire, or flood."
So pbbbbbt!
Next time be prepared. Should proselytizers knock on your door, convert them to the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
http://www.venganza.org/index.htm
Why should you convert to the church of FSM?
Flimsy moral standards.
Every friday is a relgious holiday. If your work/school objects to that, demand your religious beliefs are respected and threaten to call the ACLU.
Our heaven is WAY better. We've got a Stripper Factory AND a Beer Volcano.
What are the tenets of the church of FSM?
The Universe was created by an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster. All evidence pointing towards evolution was intentionally planted by this being.
Global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct consequence of the decline in numbers of pirates since the 1800s.
So join today!
Chris,
With all due respect, statements like "jesus is hanging from my sack" is a bit disrespectful. I mean I really think that if that is how you feel you have every right to it and all but I once saw a guy that had a shirt that said "the Buhda was a Cunt". All I could think was 'is that really called for' and it only left me speculating about the state of someone that devoid of reverence. If there is one thing that I have learned in the development of the amalgum of my spiritual beliefs is that something has to be sacred. Now this could be diffrent things to diffrent people and Whoever-Bless them for there beliefs, but an all out assault on something that is deemed fairly widely sacred by that many people may only serve to belittle he who makes the assault.
No harm no foul but that comment just tasted a bit sour (and not in a FUCK PC BULLSHIT kind of way). Then again this isn't my forum so maybe I should just shut the fuck up eh?
Peace
(please don't assume this is some Pat Robertson BS call for the religious sanctioning of assasination)
Oh yeah,
I think I would like to learn more about this "Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster". I swear the FSM came to me in a bad bout of GERD that I had the other night........
And damnit, maybe, just maybe if God really exists (under any of the names that people like to call him/her/it) he could see fit to teach me which version of the word There/Their to use and when. Kind of like A and An, like we need to throw in some arbitrary consonant just so that we don't have two vowels in a row.
It's also worth noting that the God People who come to your door are pushing a fraudulent product---not to mention a dangerous one. I don't cotton to email scammers or heroin dealers, so why would I tolerate someone who embodies the worst traits of both?
But hey, it's a free country, so buy as many Brooklyn Bridges as you like.
Hey, #2, I have also had visions during a bad bout of GERD. We should get together and discuss.
You may want to kick the nexium habit before we meet, though.
FSM, I think I love you...
...but I wanna know for sure.
"But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease."
Uh huh huh.... huh huh huh... uhhhh huh huh ... like did he just say Noodly Apendage..... huh.... uhh huh huh.....
So Nerdygirl,
You say that the Dictionary defines "Act of God" as "An uncontrollable natural event, such as a hurricane, fire, or flood."
Did you read that in a book, that men wrote? And you belived it? Wow! How could you belive something out of a book that men wrote? Maybe someone altered the meaning for there own personal gain. Isn't that exactly what you Athiest's say about the bible. Well in my dictionary it says that Athiest means: "Lazy, and irresponsable." Should I believe that? No I don't believe that. I think Athiest people are just people that are mad at the world empire of false religion, I am too, but that doesn't make me think that beautiful, thinking,seeing, hearing, creative, talented people are a result of an explosion, and wind.
Maybe you'd find a better definition if you were actually spelling "atheist" correctly.
Anyhoo, I am NOT an atheist. Never claimed to be. Way too depressing and uncreative. To paraphrase Bret Michaels, I need somethin' to believe in.
To address that other weird thing about the dictionary being written by men... defensive much?? You seem to be reacting to something I never even said.
But since you wanna spar about it--yes the dictionary was written by men. It is not, however, worshipped in any capacity that I'm aware of (except for maybe by Rick and Aaron Sorkin). I've never heard of anyone killing or dying for the dictionary. I've never heard of multi-billion-dollar corrupt religious organizations being built on the foundation of a dictionary. I've never heard of young boys being molested by men in robes wielding dictionaries. You get my point.
That having been said, I would totally join a religion based on the teachings of the dictionary!!
So... as Andrew would say ... how about that anything else?
CAN I GET AN AMEN SITSTAH!!!
Right on, right on right on.
It isn't the existence of religion that makes people crazy.....
It is the organization of it.....
Remember just because one isn't comfortable disclosing their religion does not make them an athiest. Much like proclaiming oneself to be a Christian does not make one as such. (our current president anyone?).
I don't talk about my religious beliefs because it would be much like Ralph Nader trying to sell a Corvair to Ernie Kovaks.
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