Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Did your mom always say you were a great writer?

She was probably lying---parents are contractually required to deceive their children about such things.

However, on the off-chance that she was actually correct about your talents, listen up:

Bigger than Jesus: The Diary of a Rock and Roll Fan needs a back-cover blurb, and we want you to write it. (Well, that's not technically true, but we've exhausted our brains beyond the point of rehabilitation, and since The Daily Show has no music-oriented writing, we don't even have anyone to steal from.)

Anyway...if you'd like to see your words forever emblazoned on the back of a future-award-winning DVD, this is your chance.

Simply compose a brief, exciting, somewhat accurate description of Bigger than Jesus; one that, were you to read it, would compel you to purchase said DVD. The winner will not only achieve cinematic immortality and receive a credit for their work, but will be given a free, autographed copy of the Bigger than Jesus DVD, so that he or she may better prove his/her feat to others.


For best results, your blurb should mention the following points about the film, in your own words:

• Features a live band performing three decades of rock and metal classics

• Filmed in front of a rapturous/rabid/worshipful/smitten/love struck audience in Portland, OR.

• It’s a filmed version of the hit stage show

Bonus points if you can convey the following ideas:

Bigger than Jesus is hilarious, but heartfelt, and truly loves the music it discusses. No ironic, smirky humor here.

• Contains both comedy and drama

Hella-bonus points if you can work in a mention of at least one of the below items:

• Features a long segment on the Great Metallica Sellout

• Features (at long last) a dissenting voice regarding grunge and the legacy of Kurt Cobain.


Feel free to add any other comments or superlatives that you wish...just keep it real, yo.

So...there you go. Think you can sum up all (or most) of that in a few small paragraphs? Nah...probably not. Don't worry, we couldn't do it either; that's why we're pawning it off on you.

Send all submissions to rick@rickemerson.com. Submissions should be no longer than 120 words in length. Have fun with that.

Deadline for submissions is October 21st, 2005. All submissions become the property of Rick Emerson and Joni DeRouchie. So there.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"HELLA" Really? I'd rather listen to the swunt song mixed with jolies screaching vocal chatter than hear (or read in this case) "hella"

4:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Something tells me that putting something with fuck plastered on it over and over is well..a good idea I would buy it just because of the case.

7:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So this is what theatre is reduced to; with stupid people writing reviews.
Druggies and drunks who can't even write a sentence without vulgar words. I guess that is the only way vulgar people know who to express themselves.

1:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

(I guess that is the only way vulgar people know who to express themselves.)

Well obviously they know how to use T-Shirts as well.

Joni, if you want to make up some T-Shirts that have that slogan so that we can sell them at the kickoff let me know. I would like to invest in the venture.

Something like

"so this is what theater is reduced to...."
And then the BTJ LOGO. ON the back we could print "The BEST way for vulgar people to express themselves"

Then we sell the shit out of them and the asshole who thinks he is so above everything gets nothing. It's like getting to use Stairway to Heaven in a film BECAUSE they sold out to cadillac. Just poetic....

Let me know what it would take, we'll find the cash.

5:13 PM  

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